Every year we stray further from the realms of normal comfort food. I don’t know what has happened throughout 2017 that has created a culture of creating the strangest possible creations when it comes to visiting restaurants, but as the trend grows so does the demand for weirder items on your menu.
While I accept that the demand for more interesting products like desserts or even drinks is understandable, what I cannot forgive is the trend of creating stranger and stranger pizza toppings, to the point where they seem inedible to 90% of the population. And I’m not sure I can accept the 10% that do enjoy these pizzas for what they really are.
With this in mind, I have decided to create a list of the most controversial pizza toppings that I can find and see how I feel about them overall. Is it no surprise that the majority of the items on this list can be found only in the USA?
Pizza Hut’s Mac and Cheese Pizza
Pizza Hut have recently announced their newest limited edition item on their menu: their macaroni and cheese stuffed crust pizza. Not only is this pizza’s crust stuffed with macaroni and cheese, it is also topped with the delightful concoction. Because everyone knows that sometimes the carbs you get from the pizza base alone isn’t enough, you have to get some pasta in there too. This pizza comes in two different varieties: the classic one that features a bechamel base, macaroni, cheese sauce, a triple cheese blend and crispy onions. The BBQ one is the same fundamentally as the classic one except it features a BBQ base and BBQ drizzle on top as well. Overall, this sounds like the kind of meal that I would love for the first slice, and then would be completely sick of half way through the second.
There is enough controversy surrounding Hawaiian pizza as it is. Some people absolutely cannot accept that pineapple does belong on pizza, and it has caused arguments for decades over people’s refusal to accept how delicious it is. But one thing I don’t think I can get behind is the fact that the New Zealand Prime Minister, Bill English, thinks that it’s acceptable to put tinned spaghetti on his Hawaiian pizza. Apparently, it’s a 1980’s South Island classic, but to me, it’s just a blatant disregard for proper pizza etiquette and I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever be able to forgive him for.
I’m all for restaurants trying to embrace Christmas into their menus, especially as Christmas is my favourite thing in the entire world. I’m also not one of those naysayers that try and tell you that brussell sprouts are disgusting – brussell sprouts are great, as long as you have them in a suitable meal. But Pizza Express’s idea of putting brussell sprouts on not one but two of their pizzas at Christmas time seems like something I can’t really get behind. Then again, sprout and pancetta pizza doesn’t really sound like the worst idea in the world, but it also doesn’t sound like the best.
Banana Curry Pizza
I understand that different cultures have different tastes, and usually, I’m not one to judge another country’s eating habits. But for Swedish people to say that pizza containing banana, curry sauce and ham is okay is completely unacceptable to me and has shook me to my core if I’m honest. If there is place for fruit on pizza, it is only in the form of tomatoes and pineapple – anything else is a blatant disregard to anyone’s taste buds and makes me uncomfortable.
Red’s in Santa Monica
Cheetos are good. Especially Flamin’ Hot Cheetos – they are very good. What is not good is putting them in other food items. As someone who has personally been through the uncomfortable experience of eating Cheetos in a burger, I cannot imagine that on top of a pizza they can really be much better. The collection of cheese and sauce just makes them a soggy, chewy mess and ruins any enjoyment that you can usually get from eating them.
Ameci in Southern California
Yep. If there is one thing I can admit about these pizzas, is they look adorable. The sprinkling of flowers across the top of the cheese is very cute and definitely aesthetically pleasing. That’s where
my praise ends. I don’t know why people want to eat flowers on pizza. I’m aware edible flowers are a thing, I’m aware that maybe it does taste nice (but I don’t think it does) but I cannot understand why you would want to try a pizza covered in flowers. It just doesn’t comprehend in my brain.
Jon & Vinny’s in Los Angeles
Coconut Drizzle Pizza
You know what. This pizza is something I can deal with. A pizza called the “Thai-dal Wave” in a Hawaiian pizzeria that is covered in Thai flavours sounds good to me. This pizza has macadamia nut cream sauce, and is topped with curry-spiced chicken, lemongrass, garlic, mozzarella, jalapeños, cilantro and onions, and is then covered in a thick drizzle of sweet coconut sauce. Coconut has made a real come back as a flavour recently, and I’m all about that life. Coconut pizza is probably a game-changer for me.
Sophie’s Gourmet Hawaiian Pizzeria in Honolulu
Three Course Pizza
Unnecessary is the first word that comes to mind when I think about this pizza. A restaurant in Queens has been getting plenty of attention recently for creating ridiculously topped pizzas inside, and the worst that I can find to describe how extra this place is, is the three course pizza. As a way of making sure you can get all three courses of a real meal in one go, this r
egular cheese pizza is first layered with beer-batter onion rings and french fries that are covered in cheddar cheese and barbeque sauce (the first course), which is then followed by a cheeseburger slider, with lettuce, tomato bacon and sliced buns included (the second course), and then finished with fried Oreos that have been sprinkled with powdered sugar and placed around the crust (the third course). This makes a monster pizza that honestly just seems a bit too much. Yet, apparently, people have been loving it, which in all seriousness makes me worry for their health slightly. Other pizzas that can be found in this restaurant include chicken and waffle pizza, buffalo mac and cheese pizza and a Homer Simpson inspired piece that is covered in sliced meatballs, bacon bits, and glazed doughnuts. Incredible.
Krave It Sandwich Shop & Eatery in Bayside, Queens
Taco Tuesday Pizza
The final entry, and the entry that I myself would be happiest to eat, is the Taco Tuesday pizza currently being made in a restaurant in Hoboken, NJ. This pizza begins with a base of house-made queso Oaxaca, carne asada, chipotle asada and an amazing amount of cheese on top of the pizza dough. Once the pizza is cooked through, a variety of tacos are stacked on the outer rim of the pizza, leaving plenty of space in the middle for a mound of guacamole and sour cream. It looks like heaven, and I can’t stop thinking about it. Help me.
Tony Boloney’s in Hoboken, NJ